So I’ve been having some difficulty writing this post. The post last week was met with an overwhelming reaction, and it was pretty unexpected. I thought for a long time about what this post should look like.
This week I wanted to talk about what it means to me to be a writer. It can be a little weird. I mean, besides the fact that I live in my head all day making stories out of words and too active an imagination for a thirty-year-old man. That’s completely normal if you ask me!
No, the weird part for me is seeing how people react to the news that I’ve written a book. I never thought it was that big of a deal. A significant accomplishment, sure. There’s a ton of work that goes into writing a book, above and beyond getting words down on paper (which can be tricky as hell sometimes).
But a big deal? I never really considered it like that until I started telling people about it, to get comments like:
“That’s awesome! Good for you.”
“How long did it take?”
“When can I buy it in bookstores?”
There’s something about that which just makes me very happy on the inside. But also very awkward. Now, I’m not usually an awkward person *cough cough* but I feel the weirdness in those moments. Below is a faithful approximation of my thought process:
This person really wants to read what I’ve written! That’s AMAZEBALLS. I can’t WAIT to send them a copy… do you think they want it autographed?
But what if they didn’t like that one scene that I wrote about the protagonist in the nightclub? Will they find the main character too awkward? Or even worse – What if they don’t like my writing!?
I’m toeing the line between committing fully to being a writer and not. Because being a writer means that you’re putting yourself out to the world to have people analyze a part of your brain.
Writing is the most personal thing that I can give to the world, and that’s scary. The start of every idea that is written has to come from somewhere – something I’ve read or a conversation which I was a part of or fifty other different things.
I took an idea which I’ve been sitting on for three years, and I’m about to run it up the flagpole and hope someone salutes.
And even better, I hope that it sells.